it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
