i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
bring money and cleavage
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
