I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
