This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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