i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
