So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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