omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
