But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Don't tell me you're on acid again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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