Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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