Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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