you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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