Having a random hookup so left but love u
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows