the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!