not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?