Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
