ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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