it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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