never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
