You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
