So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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