He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
