Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
