just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
