that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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