You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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