Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
