Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
