CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
