She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
