i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
