Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
