I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
