sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
