I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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