If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
