I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dear god my vagina.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
