i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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