Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
