pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
