his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
smell my finger.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
