My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
