I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
