the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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