i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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