VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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