i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
