Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The air was thick with penises
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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