the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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