So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize