Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
