i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I've blown a few things in my day
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
