Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
