then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
