I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
