Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
