do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
is wine microwaveable?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
