I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize