we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
