Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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