please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
