either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
