you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Come share oat with me in your robe
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
is it fun? or sober?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
