is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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