i would punch a child for taco bell
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
