try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize