Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize